A Consolation Prize

I miss the beaches and warm weather of Florida--A LOT!  But East Tennessee does have a few consolation prizes.  This morning, as I waited in the drive-thru line at Chic Fil A, I couldn't help but  take this picture.  Sure I miss my ocean sunrises, but I love that trees like this surround me all day.  I'm on a mission to enjoy every color and moment of Autumn.  It really is my favorite season.  It really is beautiful.  And I really have missed it these last four years.

Autumn

I’ve always loved Autumn.

Jeans, sweaters, boots

Friday night football games

Bonfires and S’Mores

Cider and Pumpkins

Corn Mazes and Haunted Houses

And of course, the breathtaking fall foliage

It’s always Autumn when thoughts of you,

like the leaves swirling in the breeze,

flutter around me beyond my control.

Memories of our days together

span the four seasons.

But It’s always this time of year,

when I miss you the most. 

Two October nights,

bookends to our time together,

play through my mind

like pictures of an outdated filmstrip.

You and me,

just two of the many teenagers

on a crowded bus

headed to Scaremare.

You-a deaf guy,

looking for someone to talk to.

Me-a shy girl,

working on her 9th grade homework.

You ask for paper,

I oblige.

You ask my name,

and I reply.

Two hours, over a hundred miles,

and countless pages later

a friendship is forged.

You and me

Just two of the many people

in a parking lot

leaving a revival service

You-a deaf guy,

unabashedly calling my name.

Me-a shy girl,

smiling as I stop to turn

You run towards me,

I wait.

You hug me tightly,

and I’m safe.

Several goodnights, twenty-four hours,

and one phone call later,

you’re gone—forever.

Fourteen years have passed

without you in my life.

Still you live on

in the memories,

especially this time of year.

I’ve always loved Autumn. 

...journey...

"Embrace the past.  Hope for the future.  But always live for the journey."

~Jen Kilpatrick

I know I'm not the first person to say these things, so I can't take any real credit for this saying.  These words, basically, just sum up the thoughts of some wise souls, who have gone before me.  Nevertheless, I like to refer to this quote as my mission in life.  I've always found that it's easiest to love your life (aka--be happy) when you are able to do these 3 things.  Of course, like all things...this is much "easier said than done".  

The first year or so that I lived in Florida, I had a difficult time following my own advice...particularly the part about enjoying the journey.   I could spend a lot of time detailing how I forgot that joy shouldn't be dependent upon circumstances or how I thought (and chased after) certain things (that I thought) would make me happy...but that's not the point of this post.  (You can read more about one of the lessons I learned from some of those experiences here.)  While I often admit that it was one of the hardest years of my life, I truly am thankful for the things I learned about God, about myself, and about life during that time. 

By May 2010 a lot had changed in my life.  I had bought a house, I had been given a classroom position, I had ended a relationship, and somewhere along the way I had found my joy.  I found myself thankful for the lessons (Embrace the past-check) and truly loving life (Enjoy the journey-check. ) But I realized that for the first time ever I honestly had no vision (Hope for the future-I knew I forgot something)  And I began to pray that God would give me new dreams.  (You can read more about that realization and prayer here.)

During that summer God really started to put it on my heart that I wanted to teach at the college level in the future.  By the time fall came I was confident that this was something I wanted for my future.  That semester I decided to apply to the Masters in Literacy program at UNF, knowing that I was hoping to one day pursue a PhD in Literacy.  What I didn't know was how soon that day would come.  

I can't even begin to explain all that has happened in the last 2 years. I have learned so much through 

• my coursework at the University of North Florida.
• an unexpected position teaching sign language to adults online.
• my experiences leading the Deaf ministry at Celebration.
• administrative and environmental changes at work.
• an opportunity that ultimately wasn't for me, but happened for great reason.
• lots of advice and encouragements from amazing mentors in my life.

and, of course,

• lessons from my students, who are always the best teachers.

In less than 2 years, God has given me a hope for the future that is exceedingly, abundantly above anything I could have imagined.  Not only has my vision for my destiny grown, but God's provision has been made clear through an amazing opportunity to follow my (new-found) dreams much sooner than I had planned.  

A month from now I will be standing on a stage issuing congratulations to my 8th graders, who will be moving on to high school.  And I will be keenly aware that I, too, will be moving on.  As this chapter of my life comes to a close, I know that I may never again teach deaf students in the classroom--a job that was, for me, a dream come true.  While goodbyes are always hard, I know that I am where I am supposed to be in life.  I am thankful for all of the moments that brought me this far, I am excited for what lies ahead, and I am loving every moment.  To put it simply--I am happy.  

"Embrace the past.  Hope for the future.  But always live for the journey."

SoleMates

I just registered to be a SoleMate at the Gate River Run. I'll be running the 15K on March 10th to raise money for Girls on the Run (GOTR).

GOTR is an awesome organization where girls can train to run a 5K and learn that anything is possible. Supporting my mission, could impact a young girl's future by allowing her an opportunity to be a part of a fantastic program that teaches girls self-respect and healthy living.

If you are interested in donating, please click HERE. If you're interested in being a Sole Sister (or Running Buddy for the Spring 5K), please let me know!

For the girls,

Jen

You Rock

I always say "I don't want to live a destination life. Life is about the journey." I never want to get so caught up in "life" that I miss the moments that really matter. In honor of my 30th birthday I thought I'd post a manifesto that expresses my feelings on the celebration of life in a much more eloquent way than I could.

LovethisLife...
is about celebrating the moment
and that we're not guaranteed or owed another day
and how cool it is that what we hide
can actually be the fuel towards our glory
and that it's not so bad being proven wrong

LovethisLife...
is about welcoming the blind turn
and the possibility
that there's no such thing as coincidence
and that empathy is incredibly sexy
and that it's never too late
to pick up a guitar or a paintbrush
or to make an amend or to make a new friend

LovethisLife...
could be about rekindling a past flame
or igniting a new one
or shapeshifting from a dreamer into a doer
or savouring the caress of a love long gone

LovethisLife...
means whatever it is you want it to mean
because

LovethisLife...
is a celebration of you and your path

LovethisLife...
cuz it could go at any second

you rock.

(Love This Life Manifesto)

One Nation Under God

September 11th is one of those dates that will forever be etched in memories that seem as though they occurred only yesterday. On this 10th anniversary I can't help but listen to the stories of survival and loss and be brought to tears. I'll never understand why events like this come to pass, but I do know that God can use them for His glory as many of today's stories have shown.

When I think back to that day I am thankful that I was a student at Liberty University.

I remember walking from my 8am class to my 9:25 thinking it was just a normal day and then hearing the towers had been hit. Mrs. Wilmington canceled class and allowed us to come to her office to watch the news unfolding on her small TV. That was when we heard the breaking news that the Pentagon had just been hit. And suddenly this event that had seemed distantly awful, confusing, and heartbreaking hit home. Knowing that many of the members of my family were working at the Pentagon or in Crystal City that day, I was now worried for my dad, uncles, aunt, and everyone that I knew in the government and military in D.C.

When I arrived at my 11:50 class my professor, Dr. Diemer, asked us all to get on our knees. And for the next hour we prayed. We prayed for the victims. We prayed for the families. We prayed for the responders. We prayed for our president. We prayed for answers, understanding, and comfort. And I prayed to hear from my family.

Classes were canceled for the rest of the day. And at 3pm the students of Liberty University convened in the Vines Center to pray for our country. I will always be thankful for that moment. I'll forever be grateful for a university that taught young people how to respond in a moment of crisis. Gather together and look to God.

I will always remember the lives that were lost and the lesson I learned that day.

On the 10th anniversary of such a tragic event...I am thankful to God that my family was protected...I remember those who were not as fortunate...and I pray for those they left behind. May we never forget the events of 9-11-01. And may we always remember the spirit of togetherness that followed.

One Nation Under God.

Greater Things Are Yet to Come

My church had a ground breaking ceremony this afternoon. After 13 years, Celebration is finally going to have an actual church building! Today's event was for us all to see the plans for the new building and be a part of this exciting season for our church family. Leading up to today, the church has been doing a sermon series on "taking ground". We've talked about how this new building is an opportunity to reach more people, but how we should also be "taking ground" in our own lives. The church passed out wooden stakes for us to write down things that we are believing God for. On one side we wrote down things related to our church, on the other we wrote down prayers for our own life. And together this afternoon, we convened with our stakes to pray for this next season in our own lives and the life of the church.

On to the actual events of today...

The morning message was great, fellowship at lunch with the deaf ministry was fun, but then we arrived at the site. We sat in traffic for forever, only to be directed to the farthest possible parking lot across several dirt fields. We started on the long trek knowing we were already late. As we walked in the Florida August heat, it crossed my mind that this really was not the best time of year to be having such an event. When we finally arrived at the tents we couldn't even hear or see the speakers. And did I mention it was hot!? I was just going through the motions, and if I'm being honest I was really only thinking of myself and my "to do" list for the rest of the day. I did my best to interpret and the service was over in less time than it took to walk there. So I set out to put my stake in the ground and get out of there so we could go get some water.

But as we walked around the site to see where our church will be built, I saw the children's pastor telling passersby about the new building's children's area which will include a separate area for the special needs students. I saw youth gathered around the area that will be for middle and high school students. And I saw families praying around stakes they had placed in the ground. But as I knelt to place my stake in the ground, another stake caught my eye. The end sticking out of the ground said:

"Daddy stop drinking."

And I stopped. With tears in my eyes, I prayed for the child who penned these words. I thanked God for a church that had the opportunity to reach him or her. And I prayed for the father who needs to know how much God loves him. I apologized for being so focused on my own life, and I thanked God for the distraction and for reminding me what it means to live a God-first life. I prayed for the families, the children, and the young people that our church has the potential to reach. And I thanked God for a pastor and church who have followed God's calling to reach the city of Jacksonville.

"For greater things have yet to come, And greater things are still to be done in this city" ~Chris Tomlin