"Everybody's Doing It" (aka-25 Things)

1) I hate memes. I never do them. Of course that can't be entirely true because I'm doing this one.
2) I'm a terrible swimmer, but somehow I passed the lifeguarding test and got a job lifeguarding. If this scares you-it should. It scares me!
3) When I was in middle school I was sent to the principals office for calling my friend a B---- during gym class. (In my defense she tripped me!...Also we are still friends)
4) My first job was in Southpark Mall working at Pretzel Time and The Country's Best Yogurt (aka-TCBY). I still can't eat pretzels (do you know how much butter those places use...well I do!)...but I have no problems with ice cream!
5) Occasionally my boss (at Pretzel Time) would need someone to work at the kiosk he owned in the same mall. This kiosk sold Metabolife. There is a small possibility that I told customers that I took it and "it really worked" just to make sales. (What...we got a $2 commission on each a bottle! I can't help it if people are gullable and desperate after Christmas!)
6) When I was growing up, I collected clowns. Who does that!? I have over 100. They are in storage in Ft. Lee VA. I'm hoping that I can sell them on eBay whenever my parents get our things out of storage. I'm hoping there are other strange people who collect clowns!
7) I just tried to count the number of speeding tickets I've gotten in my life. I got to 9 and lost count.
8) Now that you know number 7, you should be quite frightened to know that I once held a license to drive an ambulance.
9) I now feel as though I should explain number 8. When I was 16-17 years old I was in an EMT program through my highschool. As part of our course we were trained and received certifications in First Aid, CPR, EMT, Hazardous Materials, something I can't remember, and Emergency Vehicle Operations. I had to drive an ambulance through lots of cone obstacles. One of these being backing the ambulance up through a serpentine. (Reminder: the rear view mirror of a bus looks at the patient!) Somehow I passed the test, but they had to wait until I was 18 (more than 6 months after my test) to actually give me my license. (so it came in the mail) Also noteworthy, there was no actual road portion to this test.
10) I've done a few (ahem) pageants in my life. I've only won one, and I can't even remember the name of it. All I know is that my mom said my imaginary friend's name was Miss America (I was 3...cut me some slack).
11) At Miss Preteen VA, I stood on the stage for nearly 5 minutes of dead silence as they tried to get my tape to cue. I finally had to be excused while the next person went. I was so nervous when I finally got to go that I forgot my dance and made one up on the spot. I think that was the start of my choreography career.
12) In the 4th grade I ran for SCA secretary. When I got on stage I froze and couldn't read my speech. To this day I have a dreadful fear of public speaking.
13) Somehow last year my coworkers convinced me to overcome this fear to speak in front of 450 people. I did it...but I doubt it'll ever happen again.
14) I love to sing, but I've always been afraid that I wasn't any good, so I rarely sing in front of people. Though I would love to be a country music singer turned contemporary christian artist.
15) I had a slight moment of confidence my senior year of high school for a strange 3 months. First, I sang the national anthem with my sister at a basketball game. And then sang "There is a Candle" with her at baccalaureate. Oh the things she can convince me to do. A month after graduation I sang "On My Knees" in Spanish on a mission trip. I've since gone back into hiding where my voice belongs.
16) If I could do anything in life, I'd be on broadway. Singing, dancing, and acting. Ah, to be a triple threat. (Jack of all trades, master of none...the curse)
17) I'm going to have my 7th eye surgery in April.
18) When I was growing up I hated having a lazy eye. I tried to paint my stupid pirate patch in art class. (Splatter paint-cause the 80s rocked). I lied to my mom and told her it was an accident. (Sadly, she probably believed me)
18) I give lots of reasons for not drinking alcohol. But the one that is probably the one that actually makes me obstain, I rarely say. Truth be told, drinking makes me cross-eyed. I've spent my life trying to keep people from noticing or commenting, (the mean kids in French III called me magic eye). It's why I don't make eye contact when I'm tired.
19) In high school I used to leave school to go to Chick Fil A for lunch...but then we bumped into my superintendent in the mall. Oops. (PS-the same principal from middle school was now at the high school. After he got a phone call, he decided to make the door by my locker his stake out spot everyday after fourth period....oh how I missed Chick Fil A)
20) In sixth grade I was writing a play and used the word "B------". I had no idea it was a bad word. Oops. At least my teacher believed me and I didn't end up in the principal's office.
21) My first apartment was $425/month...but we really wanted the washer and dryer so we splurged for the $460/month. We didn't know until we moved in that you had to pull this washing machine into the middle of the tiny kitchen (blocking access to your entire kitchen) to hook it up to the sink in order to actually wash clothes.
22) We also later found out that having dishes in the sink during this process causes ones sink to overflow onto the floor. (We found this out twice) We also discovered that using ones microwave while washing or drying clothes causes a fuse to blow. (We also found this out twice...or more)
23) A man broke into my second apartment. The only thing he stole was porn. (That sounds like we had some...but he just used our direct TV). We got rid of the chair.
24) I ran track in high school. I tried really hard and even ran on the weekends at home...but I came in last every time. The only exception to this was when I passed a girl from Prince George. As soon as this happened, she hurled on my shoes...but she kept on running...so I was second to last.
25) When I was young, I hated the beach. I didn't like sand, getting dirty, salt water, or waves. Now it's one of my favorite places.